Food: My favorite subject

We had our first home cooked meal last evening. I know. You think I am cooking here and am becoming some gourmet chef. I really hate to burst your bubble, but it is not happening. I had good intentions and then other things got in the way. Last evening, our fellow Fulbrighter and J's very dear friend, Mohammed Maroof, invited us to his home for dinner. We made our way across Doha in a sandstorm that ended in a rainstorm, but the weather did not deter us. Mohammed's wife IS a gourmet cook, at least a Pakistani gourmet cook. It was wonderful. We must have had 10 different dishes - beef, chicken, salad, beans, sauces, rice, homemade bread. We had not had such a variety since I don't know when. The seasonings were great - tumeric (I believe), garlic, onion, a tomato base in many of the dishes, and "stuff" I had no idea what it was. Mrs. Mahroof speaks only Urdu, so I could not ask her how she made all this- but she could see our pleasure as we ate. She was lucky she did not speak english. I basically deposed her as I made my way through the various dishes and she just smiled and nodded. Kind of like what J. does when he wants me to think he is listening and he is not. So, my new favorite food is Pakistani food. Know any good restaurants in Illinois that serve Pakistani food? My sister and cousin Carole arrive in just a few hours. I may shut down my blog for a while as I play hostess. Actually, the State Department will be relieved that they do not have to monitor this blog for a while.

A rough start and an awesome ending

The 6 male students gave their presentation for the Domestic Violence Week yesterday. Luckily we arrived early. The room was not set up despite the fact we had ordered it to be set up. The boys were nervous despite their "cool" exterior. They listened to our comment that the ribbons were lavendar rather than a deep purple, so they brought deep purple ribbons to distibute to the audience! I was shocked at their attention to detail. They also agreed as a group that brochures and ribbons would be placed on the audience chairs so those attending would be sure to get them. AFter a quick call to any staff we could find around the building, we directed the set up. We got a bit of a late start. Not really bad since the audience all arrived very late and continued to straggle in during the presentation. It was a good crowd. We were especially happy to see about 20 male students. Remember, the entire law school only has 50 males! We were all pleased that the US Embassy sent Ashraf, a wonderful guy who stuck around afterwards and talked to the students! He also took the time to talk with us and explain some things we probably should have known, but did not. The girls' film arrived midway through the presentation and then did not work! Another story and one that should not be told in this blog! But, the boys were great ----- and pleased ----and relieved when it was all done. They apparently had practices without us and on their own, because the presentation and power points were not what we had seen at our last practice!!! They made us proud. I have a picture with all of them to prove it! The most amazing part of the presentation was the public comment by one of the business profs from QU that attended the presentation. He is a Greek Cypriot, of all things! How ironic! He told his story of the 8 years he taught in the US - in Syracuse. He was asked to assist a group of volunteers in an organization that worked with abused women and children. The orgainization is called CASSA. He was hesitant at first and could not figure out why he was asked to help. He had no background in domestic violence. But, he agreed. As he got more involved he decided to get his business students involved. He chose 3 of the rich NY male students in his class and insisted they come up with a business plan for CASSA. They were insulted. Even one of the student's fathers called and insulted the professor. He stuck to his plan and said they could either do the project or not graduate. They did the project. They also decided to help raise money by setting up a golf tournament and the proceeds ($70,000) went to CASSA. These students thanked him for the opportunity to participate afterwards and 2 of these students now serve on the Board of Directors at CASSA to this day. As part of their project, they had to interview social workers, court personell and battered women. These men learned about domestic violence. it had a huge impact on them. This was in 1995. The professor told the group yesterday that those 8 years were the best in this life because of his involvement in CASSA. Of course, I had tears in my eyes when he finished. I had no idea what he was going to say when he asked me if he could make a comment to the group. When the film failed to work, I simply hoped that whatever he said would bring a graceful end to the presentation. And it did. Mary Pat (my co-teacher), J. and I went to the Four Seasons for dinner (there are several restaurant at the Four Searsons, we ate at the Italian restaurant and sat ourside overlooking the Persian Gulf). Our first (and probably only) really expensive and extravagant dinner. It was awesome. J. was the designated driver. Mary Pat and I had a glass of wine. A fitting celebration. On our way out, the restarant next to the Italian one was having a "sneak preview party" -- free Japanese food. We looked at each other and said, "why not?" We had room for dessert. Oh, my gosh. The dessert was the best. Especially the chocolate cubes! As we were leaving, our "gift" was a free dinner for 2 at any time before August. Mary Pat and I each got one. I thought of Mom. She would be proud! Well, this morning I forced myself to run. Punishment for all I ate last night.

Domestic Violence Awareness Day - March 27

Emily told me to set my sights low. Good advise. The day started out a big rocky. The room was not set up properly. e had no tables. Logically, we asked the set up crew to please get tables. Not so logically, we were told that tables needed to be ordered by Fatma. One could not just "get" tables. Fatma doesn't like her job, us, me or anything. With trepidation, we called Fatma. She said "no". Tables need to be ordered 48 hours in advance. What????? Like any good American, my co-teacher (a law professor from Gonzaga Law School) and I helped ourselves to tables from a nearby classroom. That worked fine for the first couple hours until we were advised that the professor in the classroom needed the tables back for an exam. The stolen tables were returned. We hired a marketing firm to prepare brochures (originally designed by the students with our help and advise), prepare banners and posters and put together 2 huge balloon bouquets as well as ribbon pins, some giveaways (key chains), etc. After correcting all the english errors in the numerous draft proposals that were so last minute I feared we would not get anything and the marketing firm would surely tell us to get lost and hire someone else ----- everything arrived on time and looking very professional. The food arrived, but it was set up outside the room. Again, thinking like an American, I thought it best NOT to have food outside the hall where we were presenting. If I were a student, I would help myself to food and skip the presentation. That is a bit trickier if the food is in the same room as the presentation. But again, against my logic, I was told that food could not be placed inside the room, but must remain outside the room. And, again, when I saw that the table food included brownies, I quickly grabbed a few since I knew there would be none left if I politely waited until noon. As some of you know, I have a policy and practice that I do not consume chocolate until noon. There are exceptions, however. The female presenters did not want their legs seen by the audience. In other words, they wanted a table cloth over the tables so no one could see their legs. Mind you, they all wear abiyas that cover them completely down to their shoes! Again, Fatma controlled the tableclothes. I could not find any table clothes to steal. We did without the tableclothes. The girls wanted RESERVED signs made for the professors who attended so they would sit in the front row. The male class was also attending. They did not want the males to sit close to the front. They wanted them to sit in the back. Ahead of time, I arranged for the "boys" to attend. This was only possible if they were escorted as a group from the male side to the female side by a guard. Despite my fear they would not show up or cooperate (since they were insulted at having to be escorted by a guard!) - they showed up all proudly marching in and neatly dressed in white thobes. Unfortunately, when the Dean of the Law School asked me why I had RESERVE signs on chairs near the back (for the boys!), he insisted that males should be seated in the front row beside the professors! I was close to defying the Dean at that point, but decided I had done enough to end up in jail, so I agreed. The females were so distressed that I was called to the front of the presentation room before the presentation began and they pleaded with me to move the men. I did not, told them to deal with it and the presentation began. One of the girls had made a short (2 minute) film. It was not great, but it got the point across. Violence is not the answer. (By that time, I was beginning to think that perhaps violence was needed at times like this, but I figured now was not the time to show the class that the teacher was not a pacifist all the time. ). Initially, we couldn't get the film to play and the sound did not work. Oh, my gosh! It's hard enough for me to correctly answer my cell phone let along fix a problem like that. The IT men were still in the room and, after a rough start, we got the film clip going. The microphones all worked. The girls did not faint. To my surprise, the presentation was simply amazing! And, the girls spoke directly to the male students seated in front of them --- and were pleased as could be by the kind male response to their presentation. I should have known. They protested for show. At the end, I thanked the US Embassy staff for supporting this presentation, the American Bar Association, Qatar University College of Law and the Middle East Partnership Initiative and, on behalf of Mary Pat (my co-teacher) and me, I told the audience how proud we were to be the teachers of these amazing students. We had a respectable audience at the first presentation and a smaller audience at the second one. All in all, the day was a wonderful success. Importantly, the students learned a lot and were so proud to be a part of this process and to begin the effort to speak out against domestic violence. Finally, we hired a videographer to film the pressentaions. Many of the girls did not want to be photographed and they were constantly asking for my assurance the filming was only for our class purposes. The university was so impressed that I was asked to supply the name of one student who would go on radio in the evening and present the message to a larger audience. Two of my best students could not do this without the permission of their father and husband. The third immediately said "yes". I could identify with the third. Go for it! Permission is over-rated.

Respect

I have been talking to my students about this concept. Actually, I just "fell" into the topic when we were discussing something else. Now I remember. The male students were discussing a concept in domestic violence. How would your family deal with domestic violence --- or, more specifically, now would you deal with domestic violence if you knew it was going on in your family between spouses. That question was met with a question. " Is it happening between my older brother and his spouse or between my younger brother and his spouse?" What kind of a question is that? So, I asked, "Does it make a difference?" The answer, of course, is "yes". Now the respect lesson. If the abuser is your older brother, you would not talk to him directly. You would have to talk to your father about it and see if your father would talk to him. If it was your younger brother, you would talk directly to him and immediately chastise him and he would listen. So, the younger sibling must "obey" the older sibling? Absolutely. What a concept. Actually, what a foreign concept. So. I asked the female students. Same response. Only they decided I needed more of an explanation. It works like this. Even amoung friends, if your friend is "bigger" (which means older), you must respect the opinion of that person. There is a saying here. It is "one day older is a year older". Makes no sense to me, but I guess that means even if you are one day older than your friend, you are owed the respect of your friend as if you were much older. I started thinking about this concept. It sounds like a very good idea to me. Fortunately, my family reads my blog with some regularity. Which means they are reading what I am writing here. I am the oldest of 4 children. Therefore I am "bigger". My siblings are supposed to listen to me. I can already feel the respect. I plan to take what I have learned here and apply it to my life back in the U.S. Not everything. Just the things I like. This is one of those things I like.

Some things out of the ordinary

I will make this fairly short. But, I keep thinking of things that startle me and I want to share them. Like form fitting abiyas. I have noticed that some abiyas are quite attractive and form fitting. I understand this is a significant change from even a year ago. Fashion, I suppose. Today we had a dress rehearsal for Domestic Violence Awareness Week. We have 4 student groups making presentations. This was the first group to practice. Two of the female students came dressed in western clothes. I know these girls very well. I was so shocked to see them without their abiyas I just couldn't contain myself! It was simply amazing! I guess they were dressed this way since this is the weekend and there was probably no chance that any men would be around to see them. The girls brought food to the practice. It was such fun seeing them outside of class. Our "short" practice session turned out to be 3 hours! I still have 3 to go! Those of you reading this blog know how uncreative I am. I am basically a Nazi and lack any type of right brain matter. Well, I am now in charge of this Domestic Violence Week and I am directing the creation of brochures, banners, posters, press releases, room set up and decorating. We will have plenty of food. The rest is debatable. Today during practice, two of the girls tripped on the electric cords and video equipment. They were wearing 5 inch heels. I would have tripped also, but I was wearing sensible black lace up flats. I suggested they wear flats at their presentations. In my girls class, some of the girls are not speaking to each other. Today, they were all getting along. I think they have fogotten their differences for the time being. We are in this together and the drama needs to be placed on "hold", at least for the time being. I give them plenty of things to laugh about.

Random acts of kindness

I have much to say, but think I will write about some things that have surprised me ---- and then add some other observations. It's the kind things that have happened that just surprise me. Not that such things don't happen everywhere - but it's just touching to be the recipient. One of the master teachers in J's workshop gave him 2 beautiful prayer rugs. Such a good reminder that we should get down on our knees and just pray sometimes. It made me think of my 2 special nieces who will be married in April. May they begin their marriages with a prayer and remember that prayer works. And sometimes getting down on our knees helps. Marriage is hard work. Take it from your old aunt and uncle who have been married over 40 years! Another student brought J. a book and signed it. Another gift. Today one of my men students brought me 2 cupcakes. Last week, one of the female students brought me chocolates. We were on a walk in the neighborhood today and one of the Qatari men saw us walking and asked us to come in and have tea with him! (So, of course, we accepted and got to see the inside of a Qatari home!) There is a young Indian man who is a servant to one of the families here. He often greets us in the street when we are walking and always runs up and shakes our hands with a big smile. This morning, the old man with red hair got up from his seat to greet me and wave as I "ran" by him. The men workers all stopped working this morning and called out a greeting as I passed one of the buildings. Each time we go to the grocery store, the young Sri Lankan man who weighs the vegetables greets us and places his hand on his heart when he sees me. The waiter at the tiny Lebanese restaurant we enjoy, serves us with a special smile and surprises us with extra food sometimes. The 4 bread bakers greet us warmly (and sometimes serve us first!) when we come to pick up our 5 pieces of flat bread for one riyal (about 30 cents). My students laugh when I make assumptions that are untrue ---- and then when I laugh at myself with them, I can't help but feel good. Like today. We are getting ready for the first annual domestic violence awareness day EVER at Qatar University. My co-teacher and the expert, is leaving for the US tomorrow and leaving me in charge! Help! You may just want to watch carefully when I report how things turn out----- or not. This could be interesting! Well, I have decided it would be a good learning experience for the male students to see the female students' presentations (which can only take place in the female side of the building) and that the female students should be able to see the male presentations (which can only take place on the male side of the building). As I have explained before, there are locked doors between the 2 sides and signs that forbid female and males to cross over. Guards are posted. Well, I received permission to allow the male students to attend the female presentation, but they must be accompanied by a guard. I figured that would be great. I was following the rules --- silly rules from my perspective, but at least I was following the rules. When I told the male students, they shook their heads and said they were insulted. At which point I told them I would have been insulted also and told them I thought this was a silly idea but I was just an ignorant American so thought perhaps this was normal. They said this was not normal. Then I said that ---Perhaps they needed to be escorted by guards because of what they might do! And I asked them if I needed to be concerned. We all started laughing at that point -------so, I will probably get kicked out of this country at some point without even trying. I just can't help it! I also decided we needed food to attract other students to attend these presentations. My theory is that students will come if there is food. At least when I was a college student about 100 years ago, I would have gone to a presentation if there was free food. So, I discussed what type of food the students would like me to order. They looked at me as if I was crazy. Well, maybe I am, but I really don't think it has anything to do with my obsession with food. They calmly and patiently told me that food is not a motivator here. If I was to offer extra credit or a certificate, those are motivators. Can you believe it? If you hand out a certificate, students will come!? Well, I thought about this. I decided we needed food AND a certificate. This is what you call a compromise. I win. But, I am the teacher. So, who knows how this will all end. The male students are pretty well taking this all in stride. The female students are pretty much mad at each other since some of the girls in their groups are not cooperating and working as hard as some think they should. Drama at the girls end. So, what else is new. It's the same all over the world. Did I tell you how much I love my students? I am sure I have. Well, I do.

A jogger and the lone outpost

This morning as I was jogging around the compound --- yes, I am still jogging!--- I saw another "jogger". Unfortunately, I did not have a camera. As odd as I look, my fellow jogger was quite different from anyone I had ever seen. She was dressed in a beautiful head to toe and face covering abiya. She wore purple tennis shoes --- and she was faster than me! Now, going faster than me is not difficult, but in an abiya, it's simply amazing. Enough said. This afternoon we decided to drive to the northern most tip of Qatar. That would be Al Ruwais. Trust me. There is not much to see. So, we drove to Al Zubara - along the west coast of Qatar --- there we saw an abandoned fort and...... nothing. It's true. Most Qataris live in Doha. We are beginning to understand that. We saw abandoned homes and small herds of sheep ----and desert. A shepherd was nearby. Saw some bedouin tents too. And more desert. But, the entire trip only took 2 1/2 hours - so it was worth seeing. Near Al Zubara is a beautiful new sports stadium and a sign, "Home of the Qatar Olympic Committee". From Doha to that stadium is an 8 lane beautiful highway lined with street lights. The beginnings of gas stations and rest stops can be seen, but none are open yet. Gratefully, we had filled up our gas tank before we left so we only needed a bathroom. There were no reststops with bathrooms. The desert was good enough. I understand Americans are complaining about the price of gas. Well, it's a problem here too. We paid $1.00 for a gallon of gas this morning. I heard some Qataris saying that gas used to be only fifty cents a gallon! So, I guess it is all relative.

Funerals and Cemeteries

A large white tent went up in our neighborhood. Inside were placed red couches. I was wondering if this was for a wedding celebration, but I heard no music nor any festivities. Suddenly the tent was gone. I was riding with one of my students yesterday so I asked her. She told me that was a funeral tent. The men gather in that tent for 3 days following the burial. Muslims are buried in a plain white sheet shortly after death. The graves are mostly unmarked or are marked with a plain wooden stick or pole. All people are equal in death, so there are no fancy grave markers and vaults. When this student's father died, her brother put his own head scarf around her father's head so that the family would "know" him. Otherwise, he was buried in a plain white cloth in the ground. After the burial, family and friends gather at the home for 3 days. The men usually gather in a tent outside the home and the women gather in the home or in the garden (if the home is not big enough). I have never seen a Muslim cemetery. According to my student, there is a huge cemetery on the outskirts of Doha. You would not necessarily recognize it as a cemetery since it is just "adorned" with simple rods for markers. We are all equal in death. How very fitting. Last night we attented a lecture at the Modern Art Museum in Doha. The speaker was an American woman who is a professor at Qatar University in Internationsl Affairs. She has lived here for 9 years. Before that, she lived in China for 7 years. Before that she taught at Cornell and Berkeley after getting her PhD from Harvard. She is an expert in Chinese Muslim society. She had a very interesting presentation which mainly centered around the connection between the Arab world and China. Appropriately, this tied in with the current exhibit at the museum by a Chinese artist entitlted "Homecoming". The central exhibit by the Chinese artist (Cai guo-qiang) featured rocks from a Chinese muslim cemetery engraved with arabic sayings taken from the grave markers in Cai's hometown in China. Hence, the title "Homecoming" -- the rocks with the arabic sayings (from Mohammed) were returned home to the Arab world. There are some 30 million Muslims living in China now. Muslim "missionaries" converted the Chinese just like the Christian missionaries. It was startling to see slides of Chinese wearing abiyas. Equally startling was to see arabic words displayed at mosques that looked like oddly shaped Buddhist temples. Afterwards there was a reception catered by a French restaurant in Doha. Of course, I took advantage of the chance to have a chocolate cupcake!

I am not writing from jail

Bet you thought you would never hear that I actually got my driver's license. Well, today I did!!! Seems like a simple task. Not so. But, I am sure am happy about this. Some background first. This past weekend J. and I explored Doha and the surrounding area south of the city. As I said in my blog about 10 days ago, we rented a car anticipating we would both have our license. Qatar is small, so it didn't take long to drive to where the road ends along the Persian Gulf to the south. There are beaches and sand dunes -- unlike you would see in the U.S. Also 4 wheelers for rent everywhere. I am talking about 1000's of 4 wheelers for rent. We saw very few in use. We also stopped in Al Wakra -- an old fishing town where there was supposed to be the remains of the oldest fort in Qatar. It was there, but you could not visit it. Tourism outside Doha has not been developed. What we did see is poor neighborhoods and many foreign workers - Indian, Philipino, and Pakistani. We also saw Q-Chem -----the Mobil Chemical of Qatar. It's off in the desert in areas where no one would want to live ---- surrounded by signs that indicate you cannot take photos. I did not take photos. We also drove to the Arab Museum of Modern Art. What a surprise. It currently houses a one person show by Cai Guo-qiang ----the Chinese gun powder artist who masterminded the opening celebration for the Beijing Olympics. He is the first artist to have a single person show at the Arab Museum of Modern Art. We had a private tour by a student and her art mentor (a prof from Qatar University) and really enjoyed it. For the most part, the art in this city is truly amazing. There is no quantity of art, but some of the exhibits we have seen have been amazing. This was one of them. We also went to Villagio --- probably the nicest mall in all Qatar. The background part now begins. J. drove the entire weekend. I was trying to respect the fact I had no driver's license. Well, J. daydreams and is easily distracted. Even when he is driving he is distracted and daydreams. It must be the artist in him. On the way home, he forgot about the roundabouts. As he was driving straight into the roundabout, I yelled and hung on for dear life. Well, that brought him back from his daydreaming. He claims we were never in danger. I claim that I am driving from now on. I have waited for my driver's license for 9 weeks now. Everyday, I am sure it will be "today". These last 10 days have seems like forever. I emailed the person at the University who is "helping" me get this license every day for the past 10 days. She is sick of me. So, she told me to be ready this morning at 6AM. A driver would come to get me and he and I would go get my license. Well, a driver (the same one that did not get me a license the last time I went with him!) came for me this morning. He and I drove to the license bureau in rush hour traffic. We walked thru 3 different buildings (the inner sanctum that we had not visited the last time) and he saluted 2 important looking people. They seemed important and we were the only ones in the rooms other than the people my driver saluted. We were then allowed to go up a flight of stairs to a huge corner office with white leather furniture and the biggest Qatari man I have ever seen. He was not dressed as a police officer, but in the beautiful white arab robes and scarf. Two blue uniformed police officers sat in front of him. I was ushered in and he stood and shook my hand. He asked if I was a lawyer from Chicago. That was close enough so I said yes. He smiled and said he had visited Chicago about 10 years ago. He signed my papers and told me to "drive safely". That must have been what I was waiting for. I was already sure I would not forget that Doha had roundabouts, but now I was really sure. Kind of like driving lessons. It's painful and sometimes unnecessary, but it leaves you with a lasting memory. I had waited for 9 weeks and than I was told to drive safely. This warning was really unnecessary after driving with my husband the previous day. I then waited for my driver to do something else for another 1/2 hour. I am not sure what he did, but then he came and got me and told me that I still did not have a driver's license. He spoke almost no english but I understood him to say I would need lessons and another signature. All the way home I had thoughts of panic. In between my 2 classes I emailed the person at the university that I have emailed 10 days in a row. Within minutes she emailed me and said I could pick up the license. It was in her office! Insha'Allah! How did that happen? Of course, I must have misunderstood what had gone on earlier this morning --- or my driver was trying to give me a heart attack!

I just can't resist!

As you well know, I am co-teaching a clinical course on domestic violence. I am learning and teaching things like the cycle of violence and the battered woman sydrome as well as the wheel of violence respresenting power and control, the motivating force behind acts of domestic violence. The physical and psychological aspects of abuse are indeed terrible. We tend to concentrate on the victims. But, it is also important to understand what type of person is an abuser. Abusers often have some common characteristics. For example, an abuser usually denies he is abusive. Even when confronted with the evidence, he denies he did it or that what he did was really that bad. Also, abusers blame the victim! Yes, they will tell you that, "if she had not provked me, I would have never hit her". Well, I am here to tell you that I am packing my bags and heading for the shelter. I have been abused. And so have you. Unfortunately, the news of Rush Limbaugh's comments to the young women that testified in favor of the need to provide insurance for contraceptives has reached Qatar. Even my favorite news reporters told the story. I trust the back lash from his comments will create enough of a reaction to stop this rhetoric. The most amusing (sadly amusing) comment he made after he read his "apology" was that "Obama made me do it". Now, that is shameful. That is what abusers do ---- blams the victim. Well, "nation", perhaps we all need to study the cycle of violence and the theories behind domestic violence ----- and head for the shelters! In the event Jon Stewart or Stephen Colbert are reading this ---- I am available to offer suggestions for your next show. Indeed you should include a guest that specializes in domestic violence. That specialist will give you all you need in order to make the comparison!

Some things I took for granted

Dont' take anything for granted. That happens a lot here. Like a driver's license. It's taken 2 months and I still don't have one. Certain I would have a license by Sunday (yesterday), we rented a car Saturday evening. No such luck. Maybe tomorrow. It is a complicated procedure to get a driver's license here. First you need the Qatari ID. That takes a physical exam, an xray, blood test, special letter from your sponsor, some money, a fingerprint check, 2 photos, and several trips to the police station. Once you have that, you can apply for a driver's license. You need an eye test, another special letter from your sponsor, several photos of yourself, your current license and a special signature. The final special letter must be from your employer that contains your job title number. That took many days for me to get since I have special status with the ABA and Qatar University. But, I do have a number. I was just sure it would now be simple. The only hurdle is the special signature. There is only one person in Qatar who can sign an American's request for a driver's license. He has not been available for the last 5 days. Perhaps he is sick, on vacation or has carpel tunnel. Whatever it is, I am still waiting. You probably wonder if there is an alternative. Yes, there is. I can take 12 classes, take a test, flunk and try again. That could take months. So, I took the "fast" route. Temporarily I had to surrender my American driver's license, so currently I have no license. I only drive to work now - I am pretending I am operating on a judicial driver's permit that allows me to drive to and from work. I think I will stop now. I have just confessed and I am not even a Catholic. There are other bureaucratic mysteries that I could tell you about, but again, I think I will stop now. Don't take paper for granted. The College of Law has not had paper for 2 weeks now. I think the entire University may be out of paper. Quizzes for students are printed on the back of scrap paper. I am not complaining. I don't give quizzes. Female and male students have separate classrooms and do not take class together. They also have entry doors signated as "female entry only" and "male entry only". The College of Law is a beautiful brand new building with one side for males and one side for females. The doors between the corridors have signs so the males and females do not cross over. My office is on the female side of the building. That means my male students may not come to my office. I have to hold office hours in the open area outside the classroom. Teachers (like me!) can freely go between the 2 sides. I feel like the United Nations peacekeeping force in Cyprus. Sometimes the doors between the male and female section are locked. I have had to figure out how to navigate when that ocurrs. There are plenty of guards and housekeeping staff and I often look lost, so I have plenty of "friends" who help me out. I don't take their kindness for granted. Especially Tom. Tom gets law professors coffee. I really like Tom. Yesterday a male student needed a handout I had in my office. He had to stand on the male side of the door while I went to my office and returned with the handout. I think he peeked when I openned the door. I do not mind having only females in one section of the class and one section of males. There is less drama and more freedom, actually. Despite the fact that both classes study the same subject, the classes are so different in their questions, concerns, interaction. Many things we take for granted in America are handled differently here. I really love the stark contrast. It makes me stop and think. Some of the ideas here are worth bringing back to the United States. There are reasons for everything. Both here and in America. Different reasons. But good reasons. Right now, I just hope I get my driver's license soon.

Eating fish

Al Khor is just north of Doha along Highway 1A. It is a small fishing town, old and rather abandoned. Along the Persian Gulf sits a small warehouse where the boats dock. The warehouse has fish for sale, fresh fish. You pick out the fish and they clean it while you wait. Today our neighbors (about 8 of them) invited us to go for a lunch/supper at Al Khor. We are experiencing the third day of a desert storm (not the war, just a big dust storm), so we were glad to join them and avoid walking somewhere amid all the dust! We live in an interesting neighborhood surrounded by post doctoral students. It's a very quiet neighborhood generally, most of the post doc students are single and many rent or buy cars while they are here for 2 or 3 years. Today, one of the students was from Malaysia, one from China, one from Egypt, 3 from Lebanon, 2 friends from Poland, and 2 old people from America (that's us in case you didn't know!). Basheer, a 29 year old IT specialist from Lebanon did all the ordering. He claims to have a huge appetite so we agreed he was a good choice. He picked out schrimp, cuttle fish, pearly goat fish, orangespotted grouper, tilapia and squid. The orangespotted grouper is called "Hamoor" here and is the favorite fish of the arabian gulf states. Pearly Goat fish is a favorite of the Lebanese. Once the fish were cleaned, we carried them accross the street to a small restaurant that cooked them - grilled and deep fried the fish --- and served us side dishes. We had fatoush (salad), hummus, bread, fries, another dip and lemons for flavoring. It was a feast! I don't know if I have ever tasted fish so good. We all ate with our hands. Utensils were pretty useless. Kleenex is used for napkins. (That's true at most restaurants.) All together we each paid $15.00 for everything - fish, cleaning, cooking and all the sides. I particularly enjoyed my conversation with the Lebanese and Egyptian. These 2 young men were delightful. We talked about families and plans for the future and what brought them to Doha. Particularly insightful were there questions. The Lebanese asked me if it was true what he had heard: That Americans encourage their children to leave home and go on their own at the age of 18. That seemed so unbelievable to him. How could that be? In the Middle East, children don't leave home until they marry. And even then, they live close by. I loved hearing them talk about their mothers and how their mothers just lived to make their children happy. By the end of our talk, I was thinking about inviting Emily and Jonathan to move back home again. I was practically in tears. And then I got back to our apartment and thought some more about the idea. Maybe I will just go visit Emily and Jonathan when I get home ----- and tell them how much I love them, even though they do not live with us anymore. I better not stay in the Middle East too long or I may change my whole way of thinking and develop some "radical" ideas. Days like this help me realize again and again how fortunate we are to be here. Anyway, it was a lovely day.